Swimming

I'll admit, practice was tough today. For a while now i've been swimming with four other teammates in the same lane. I guess being the fastest one on the team, i'd always feel a sense of satisfaction when i create alot of distance during our lap workouts. I didn't see myself as showing off, i just wanted to get the most out of the current workout. Its easy to compare yourself to others, whether its just to make yourself feel better, or to make yourself better. I appreciate the fact that i am the fastest swimmer on the team, and i'm the one setting the bar, but honestly, i wish there was someone faster than me on my team. I'm a competitive person overall, and i feel like i need to be racing someone, constantly until i beat them, then its on to the next one. Im not sure whether thats a good thing or not, but i feel like having a goal like that will keep me motivated enough to the point where id swim the English Channel just to be 2 seconds faster. Then its on to the Pacific.
I'm currently working on breaking my high schools record for the 50meter freestyle set in 1990. Im only about less than 2 seconds off. For a while I've also wanted to swim in a lane by myself. I like the feeling, it helps me think a lot. I can really focus on what i need to improve, and what bad habits i need to break(Breathing too early off flipturns). Well i swam in my own lane today. It was pretty good, i liked the fact that i was able to notice all my weaknesses. The muscles in my arm started to hurt after the first 200meters i swam. For the next 300meters, my arms felt swollen and heavy. I'm not gonna lie, i liked that, but it was torture. I try to keep a focused mind when i swim, it helps me keep everything in proportion. Telling myself things like, "Pain is weakness leaving the body and by the looks of it, i got lots to get rid of. If your not dying at practice, your not trying hard enough. No limits, no problem.
Eventually, Coach gave me a Butterfly set to do. 3x100m, then 100m, 200m, 300m, 200m, 100m.
Yeah, i thought i was gonna die, i'm really comfortable doing a 50m fly, 100meters is pushing it, 200m?, yeah right. Getting through the set was exhausting to say the least. But in fact, i'm glad i did. I'm glad i get a chance explore my inner-most self when i swim. And now that i think of it, though i don't have someone faster than me on my team, theres a world of elites out there who i'm dying to race against. The road to the Olympic blocks start here, everyday, busting my body, so it can take more than it could. Pushing my limits, mentally and physically till i have none.
This is how i create myself, This is how i create my world.